I have contemplated sharing our story for a very long time. I guess I decided not to because it was too hard to talk about. But I have been feeling so strongly that I need to. That somehow our story may bless the lives of another couple who are going through a similar trial. I also feel so strongly that I need to share our story because we have been so blessed to have the opportunity to do an IVF cycle for free. I feel like those who blessed us with this gift should be able to follow our journey and cheer us on. We have such an amazing support system, it is incredible.
2 years ago we started trying. Nothing crazy, just not preventing. After a few months I started to get a little concerned but tried not to worry about it. I kept having really strong feelings that something wasn't quite right. But, after about 6 months of trying we got pregnant! We were over the moon excited. At the time we didn't realize it, but this was our little miracle baby. At 6.5 weeks we lost the pregnancy. It was such a traumatic experience. I don't want to expound upon it too much because it is really hard to relive that awful moment. After our miscarriage I was really hopeful. I kept telling myself that at least the good thing about this whole ordeal was that we found out I could get pregnant. So we kept trying. Month after month every single pregnancy test came up negative. We were so confused. A year after the miscarriage and a move to Utah later I finally decided to see a specialist. After some testing our doctor told us we had about a 1-3% chance of getting pregnant on our own. We were devastated, but our doctor was hopeful because of my age. Our doctor recommended us starting with IUI's because he believed we were an "easy fix" and that they would for sure be successful in our situation. Well here we are 4 failed IUI's later...
This whole journey has been such a emotional roller coaster for us. We prayed so hard for a baby, and our prayers were answered, but then it was taken from us. I can truly say that this trial has taught me so much about God's plan for us. I have learned that as much as I want to be, I am not in control, He is! I know He is by our side through this journey.
Monday is our first appointment with Dr. Gertcheff! I am so excited/nervous!!
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I seriously got chills reading this. Gosh. I know that ache. I know that tough road of praying so hard. Wondering why you aren't being given the desire of your heart when not only is it a righteous desire but a commandment! But you and I both know God is in control and He knows best and exactly what we need and when we need it. Even if we don't know His plan or don't understand it, it is still perfect. and this challenge is making you such an incredible mother! it is preparing you in ways you don't even know. And as backwards as it sounds, it will be a blessing to your children. You will be able to teach with authority about patience, God's love, faith and kindness toward others. You will be an incredible mother and I can't wait for this IVF journey for you! It's going to be a roller coaster but- crazy, exciting, highs, lows, exhilarating and so unforgettable! Can't wait to hear how Monday goes! #OperationGetABaby is underway! ;) love you!
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